Red Wings 5, Stars 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I'm a little bit rusty here. It's been so long since I got to watch a Wings game that I had to re-teach myself the concept of icing during the first period.
• In one play during the third period, Ian White blocked a shot with his face,and then Henrik Zetterberg made a kick save on the goal line to keep the puck out of the net. White ended up with several stitches and a hospital visit out of the deal.
• Wouldn't it be nice if Fil's and Franzen played the way they've been playing all the time?
• Win five, lose six, win four. Nobody can accuse the Wings of not being streaky.
• For a while there, I thought last night was going to be one of those games where the Wings fire 100 shots at a no-name backup goalie and make him look like an All-Star starter. Obviously, they figured things out in the end, though.
• The broadcast had several nice tributes to Mickey Redmond. He deserves all of them. I sure do love that flannel-wearing, ginger-ale-drinking, bingo-bango-saying, composite-stick-hating guy. He's one of a kind.
• I particularly enjoyed Homer's analysis of the goal that was originally credited to him before being switched to Kronner. I also enjoyed the fact that he told Murph that the goal didn't go in off of him, but asked him to do him a solid and say it did anyway.
• Kindl got into a fight at the end of the game. I like the effort, but he didn't really do so well.

Red Wings 4, Bruins 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I actually got to watch part of today's game on a real, HD TV. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. I sat at my desk starving for three hours because I wanted my lunch break to coincide with the third period of the game. I was more than prepared. I kicked back in the break room with a frozen dinner, my Wings hat from the last viewing party, and one of the last cans of Vernor's that I brought here from Michigan. The only thing that could've made it better is if it had been Ken and Mickey on the broadcast. Or if I hadn't been at work. You get the idea, though.
• I only got to watch the third, but it sure seemed like Datsyuk got knocked around a lot. It was uncharacteristic.
• Darren Helm had a great chance off of a rush in the third, but failed to convert. It's okay though; I'm pretty sure if he and Kris Draper had finished chances like that in the same game it would've caused a break in the space-time continuum.
• I kind of like it when the Wings play puck-possession hockey.
• I decided that the only thing I like about afternoon games is the fact that the lower bowl looks like it's full of fans in Wings gear instead of bored businessmen in work clothes.
• Remember that crazy run Bert went on last November/December? This kind of reminds me of that.
• I never, never, ever want Nick Lidstrom to retire. Never.

Hero: Todd Bertuzzi
Back-to-back two-goal games? Get this man a round of glitter.

Villain: Zdeno Chara
I know it's not his fault that he's tall, or that people keep talking about it, it's just that I'm tired of hearing about it. Yes, I get it. He's an extremely large person. Being tall isn't a skill though; it's an asset, but that doesn't mean the world.

Final Thought:
I usually hate NBC, but I could've kissed the tv when I turned it on and saw the Joe.

Red Wings 1, Blackhawks 4: Post Game Snipes...

• It's easy to get caught up in the ridiculousness of the Wings not getting a single powerplay tonight (and yes, it was ridiculous), but to do so would overlook the fact that the really didn't look all that good.
• Chris Chelios was honored before the game. The Blackhawks fans thanked the Chicago-native for spending the best years of his career in their uniform by booing him. All because he was traded to Detroit and found a home in a more successful and better-run organization. I'd be willing to bet that at least 95% of the fans there last night had no idea about any of his achievements while on the Hawks or why they were booing the man.Mickey Redmond was especially offended by the fans' behavior. He went on more than one rant about their lack of class.
• I'd really like to adopt Mick as my unofficial grandpa. Both of mine are long gone, so I'm kind of in the market for a new one. I really think he'd liven up Christmas dinner. He and my dad could prop their feet up by the fire and sip ginger ales while swapping stories about the good old days when men were men and hockey players used wooden sticks. Then we could play a family game of Cranium and he could say, “Bingo Bango!” every time his team successfully completed a challenge. After the kiddies went to bed, we could switch to euchre, and he'd say, “Look out!” every time we were close to euchring our opposition. Then Larry Murphy would inexplicably come down the chimney and leave a tray of dollar hot dogs under the tree. Admit it: you'd want to be a part of a Mickey Redmond Christmas.
• Pavel Datsyuk continued his streak of 18,492 consecutive games in which he did something that made me laugh out loud because of how absurdly good he is.
• I'm glad that the majority of the Wings' fanbase exists to cheer on and support the Wings, not for the sole purpose of hating another team.

Hero: Patrick Eaves
He got the Wings' only goal tonight. It seemed to give the Wings new life for a while and get them back into the game.

Villain: Tomas Kopecky
Oh, so now you want to act like you know how to play hockey?

Final Thought:
I certainly hope the Wings put on a better show on Sunday when Ozzie's going for his 400th win. He deserves that.

The Big Chill at the Big House...

I couldn't have asked for a better Saturday. I began the day in Ann Arbor for the Big Chill, and finished it at the casino for a Wings viewing party. Both of my teams won big, and I had a great time. Here are some quick notes from the Big Chill:

• I knew the day was going to be great when my car's shuffle started playing Bob Seger's “Mainstreet” just as I turned onto Ann Arbor's Main Street. Technically, the song's written about a place on Ann Street, but I was close enough.
• The atmosphere in Ann Arbor was incredible leading up to the game. I've never tailgated before a hockey game before, so that was a new experience. I had a good time, even though I was surrounded by Spartan fans.
• We were ecstatic to discover the Arby's curly fries mascot at the fan fest before the game.
• I'd already seen the ice when I was there earlier in the week, but I'd only been on the field that night. Walking into the stadium through the stands was a whole different experience. Over the years, I've gotten used to the spectacle that is the Big House on game days, and seeing the stadium full had kind of become routine. Seeing the rink laid out in front of me in the middle of the field was a completely different experience, though. It was kind of surreal.
• Liz and I had great seats (well, spots to stand, really—nobody sits). We were in the seventh row at the faceoff dot in the Spartans' end.

• I really, really, really love fireworks. I don't know why, but I suspect it has something to do with Disney. I also love hockey and the Big House. Combining all three in one epic event was pretty awesome. The fireworks at the end weren't necessarily spectacular, but seeing them launched from the new towers over the stadium with the lights dimmed was very cool.  Here's a short video I took of part of the show.
• I looked like an idiot during the second intermission because there was only one other person near me dancing along to the Blues Brothers. I was across the stadium from the student section, so I shot a quick video of the beginning of the dance. It's not very long, because I wanted to put the camera down and join in.
• I was, of course, standing on the bleachers as I danced, and it wasn't until halfway through the song that I realized the guy behind me had taken a seat and, well, you figure it out.
• I've seen other flyovers before, but the stealth bomber before the game was really neat to see. It seemed more like a glider than a jet.
• I got a close-up shot of Mickey Redmond and his hat. I had no idea what it said at the time, but I remarked to Liz that it looked like he was a Russian submarine captain. It wasn't until I got home that I could read that it said “Redmondov.” This has sparked so many questions. Why? Why does that exist? Please tell me that there was an explanation somewhere in the broadcast that I missed.
• After the fourth goal, Liz was just hoping for an MSU goal so that she could celebrate with her “Go Green/Go White” mittens. I was hoping for another UofM goal so that my “Go Blue” mittens could be used to their full effect for the “more goals” cheer when number five was announced. I got my wish. She didn't get hers.
• The only thing that could've made the day better is snow. I was really hoping for some, but I'll have to settle for the short flurry that we saw during the skate last week.
• I loved that the student section got the wave going. The Big House is the only place in which I approve of the wave, and the slow wave holds a special place in my heart.
• The announced attendance was over 113,000 people, but Guinness is only certifying 85,000 people. I'm not sure how you lose almost 30,000 people, but I guess they make the rules. The Big House didn't look full to capacity, but it was pretty darn close. I call shenanigans.
• The NHL would be insane not to bite on the chance to try to one-up the event with a Winter Classic there. Which, actually, is a pretty good reason for not getting your hopes up about it happening.
• The last thirty seconds on the PK were incredibly stressful. I wanted Michigan to hold onto the shutout so badly. Little things like that make me like hockey even more. What other sport gets your heart pumping like that in the dying seconds of a blowout? There's always something on the line.
• Everything was perfect, from the weather to the score to the enormity of the event. I'll never forget it.

All of my pictures are over at Photobucket.

Red Wings 4, Canadiens 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I'd say that each team won one period tonight, and split another. The difference was that the Wings won their period bigger. The first was kind of a draw, then the Wings took over in the second, only to fall asleep during the third.
• I never, ever, ever want to hear that stupid “Ole” soccer chant in Joe Louis Arena again. Ever.
• I loved that the Wings' d-men were all over the offense tonight. Lidstrom's buzzer-beater on the 5-on-3 was just brilliant.
• Ken and Mickey's reaction to that goal was priceless.
• I was at work and we had the game on the TVs. I don't think anything got done during that 5-on-3. I'm pretty sure everyone was just standing around watching.
• Pavel Datsyuk's goal was just beautiful. He got a nice set-up from Rig and finished it with a gorgeous shot. After the game, he was asked to describe the goal and he said, “I just shoot.”
• The penalty differential between the Wings and Canadiens was kind of surprising. I kept waiting for the evening out calls to come in the third period, but they never did. You don't usually see that kind of disparity unless you're playing Anaheim.

Hero: Jimmy Howard
Those saves he made late in the third period when the rest of the Wings were fading were nothing short of spectacular.

Villains: Habs fans
“Ole, Ole?” Not in our building.

Final Thought:
I've already moved onto the Big Chill. Tomorrow's going to be insane.

Red Wings 4, Blue Jackets 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I was concerned about how the Wings would start this game since it had an early start time, but they actually looked pretty lively in the first period.
• During the pre-game show, FSD did a segment where they asked players about their hidden talents. Darren Helm's talents were walking on his hands and doing the Worm.
• I've had a long-standing suspicion that when Chris Osgood is on the bench, he's doodling instead of charting faceoffs. The hidden talents segment made me positive that I'm right, as Ozzie revealed that he likes to draw pictures.
• Jiri Hudler claimed to be a good BBQer. I'm not sure I'd want to eat something he cooked.
• The Circus line looked threatening all night. Zetterberg, in particular, had a lot of good chances and looked dominant with and without the puck. He didn't end up with any points to show for it, but it was definitely one of his best games of the season.
• We were subjected to the Blue Jackets' hideous third jerseys for the second game in a row. I'm sorry, are Wings fans being punished for something? Evidently Mickey Redmond likes them. He said something about Columbus looking like a whole different team when wearing them. Ken Daniels responded by saying that they looked like the Florida Panthers. Boom.
• Kronwall and Helm scored fourteen seconds apart in the second period. Just like that, the Wings went from trailing to being in the lead. That's what this team can do to you.
• The penalty kill in the third period was outstanding. The Wings out-worked and out-played the Blue Jackets for all of Filppula's double minor, as well as the two-minute 5-on-3 kill in the middle of it. The fans at the Joe were on their feet applauding the team. Everything about it made me smile.
• Filppula ended up with the game-winner for the second game in a row. I'm guessing his finely-tuned fashion sense finds the ugly third jerseys the Blue Jackets were wearing objectionable.
• The Wings were 0-5 on the powerplay tonight. Ouch.
• After the game, FSD showed a slo-mo replay of Jimmy Howard squirting water on his face from the water bottle. It prompted my little brother and I to laugh hysterically. Was that really something we needed to slo-mo?

Hero: Henrik Zetterberg
He didn't pick up any points on the evening, but he was dominant throughout the whole game. I was really convinced that he was going to score tonight. Obviously, I was wrong, but that doesn't take away from his effort.

Villain: Steve Mason
He looked like he'd been shot after Abdelkader's goalie interference penalty. The little peek he took to make sure the ref had noticed his acting was cute, too.

Final Thought:
That's not a bad way to close out Thanksgiving weekend at all.

Red Wings 4, Coyotes 2: Post Game Snipes...

• The Wings looked awful in the first period. Across the board. I'd say I was surprised, but well, I wasn't.
• The thing that everyone is missing with Chris Osgood these days is the fact that he is a backup goalie. Backup goalies give up soft goals and make you cringe when they're in net. It's the way of the world. We're still looking at him as '08 Ozzie and he just isn't that goalie anymore. I think Wings fans will be a whole lot happier if we can realign our expectations to be more realistic for a backup netminder.
• Darren Helm had his best game of the season so far.
• I'm still regretting not smuggling in a bottle of Pepsi for Ozzie. I think it would've helped matters.
• At one point during the game, Pavel Datsyuk did something ridiculous and then passed the puck to Doug Janik who proceeded to blow the entire play. Amanda and I screamed, “JANNNNNNNNNNIK!” in perfect unison. I think we shook our fists at him, too. Or maybe that was just me.
• Pav is a ridiculous human being. He had a shift during the second where he absolutely victimized Pyatt and made him look like a peewee hockey player. That man just does things the puck that nobody else can. Nobody.
• The Commune found out that Gary Bettman was in the building toward the end of the second period. Hearing this news prompted us to exclaim (again in unison), “Well THAT explains it!”
• Mickey's interview with Bettman was much less argumentative than the last one they did. Hearing Bettman speak still gives me the shudders.
• Homer's penalty near the end of the game was killer.
• That was an ugly, ugly turnover by Kronner on the empty-netter, but booing him was uncalled for.
• The Wings could not hold the puck in the zone to save their lives tonight.
• I loved how hard Helm was working on that last shift. The team was down by two with less than a minute left in the game and he was still out there going strong.
• Kat and I rode the People Mover back to Greektown after the game. There were dancing homeless men on our train. One of them did the Moonwalk. Bros were singing “Beat It” for them to dance to. It was epic.

Hat Trick:
1. There's been a lot of talk lately about the third line not producing offensively. Will they redeem themselves tonight?
No, they still look disorganized and not quite on track.

2. The top line stole the show the last time the Wings played seemingly six years ago. Does that mean it's the “second” line's turn tonight? A glitter kittens goal celebration at the Joe with the Commune has the potential to be epic.
It was definitely the Pavel Datsyuk show tonight. Mule did score on the powerplay, though.

3. How many last-minute goals will the Wings allow? That's a sad trend that I've never been able to fully wrap my head around.
None, if you don't count the empty-netter. At least that's something. 

Hero: Pavel Datsyuk
I can't even tell you how many times we just laughed and looked at each other in disbelief up in the stand at the Joe after Datsyuk did something ridiculous. Amanda's mom texted her asking if anyone was going to show up to play the game with Pavel. We got the sense that after the first period, he just said, “Ah, screw it. We're going to lose anyway. Might as well have some fun,” and went out there and skated and stickhandled circles around the Coyotes. He put on a show last night, and it's too bad that the rest of the team didn't really look like they were interested in winning. Plus, he tallied his 600th career point.

Villain: Lauri Korpikosky
He scored the Coyotes' shorthanded goal, and then put sealed the victory with the empty-netter at the end.

Final Thought:
Isn't it sad that slow starts like that are predictable for the Wings?

And Then There Was One...

Classic Kirk Maltby.

Kirk Maltby called it quits on Tuesday instead of spending the year in Grand Rapids, thus making Kris Draper the one remaining member of the famed Grind Line. We're one step closer to the end of an era. This makes me feel really old. Maltby's always been a favorite of mine. I really can't remember far enough back to a time when he wasn't part of the Wings' roster. As much as we loved watching him play, other teams hated facing him. I challenge you to find someone in the league who gave a better facewash than Maltby did. He'll go down as one of the legendary Wings not because of his goal-scoring prowess (though Mickey Redmond loved to remind fans how Maltby scored 50 goals in juniors back in the day), but because of his loyalty and dedication to winning. He was a team guy, and we were lucky to get to watch him for all these years.

I keep thinking back to last season when his perfectly-timed shoulder surgery happened to clear up just enough cap space to alleviate the Wings' crunch. I don't doubt that there was a problem with his shoulder, but I will always suspect that he probably could've held out until the off-season if the Wings hadn't had to fit under the cap. It stuck me then as the ultimate act of team loyalty and (as we all knew it would) that loyalty has been repaid with a scouting job in the organization. I love the way the Wings take care of their good soldiers.

Red Wings 1, Blue Jackets 0 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• If I had to choose one word to describe this game, it would be boring. I almost dozed off on the couch. If it weren’t for the oh so interesting conversations on Twitter, I probably would’ve.
• Mickey Redmond apparently has a new telestrator that he has difficulty working. It’s a shame that the season’s coming to an end and he and Ken Daniels will soon get replaced by announcers that we hate.
• Ken and Mickey also took the opportunity to fuel the Alex Burrows hate by reading his anti-Detroit comments. They even made a referee joke. It was kind of awesome.
• Helm got a penalty shot on a pretty chintzy call. He fell victim to a Mason poke check and never really got a shot off. I can’t say that I was particularly surprised
• Columbus’ crowd was so enthusiastic that the Wings fans in attendance had a LGRW chant going for a solid minute in the third period without the slightest opposition.
• With any luck, that was the last time we’ll have to see a shootout this season. Of course, by typing that, I’ve doomed us to one final one tomorrow. Figures.
• Babcock went with Kronner over some of the regular shooters. Sadly, he didn’t manage to win the game this time around.
• Another shutout for Jimmy. The Calder dream is alive and well.
  

GP Answers:
1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
Ten seasons in a row, sunshines. This feels good just to keep the streak alive. Now, just for a moment, close your eyes and imagine how many more points they would’ve had if they had been healthy for most of the season or even just converted on half of those OT/SO losses…

2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
Score a shootout goal? It wasn’t one of his ridiculous ones, but it was pretty nonetheless.

3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
Nope. They played this one like just another regular season game. It’ll be interesting to see how things shake out tomorrow in Chicago.

4. The efforts during the last three games weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?
Ehhhhhhh…Columbus never took over the game at any point, but man was that boring to watch.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Jimmy Howard
Another shootout/shutout win for everyone’s favorite Calder contender.

Brian Rafalski gets the Golden Facepalm
He did something to cause me to tweet, “Oh Rafalski, that was ugly,” and even though I honestly have no idea what it was, I’m assuming that it was deserving of this. I’m thinking that it was an ugly turnover that led to a scoring chance for the BJs, but it could be anything. I think this last paragraph shows my level of commitment to quality writing and analysis.

What I Learned:
You know it’s a boring game when you find yourself discussing National League baseball via Twitter in the middle of it.

Red Wings 3, Predators 4 (OT): Post Game Snipes...

• This game was right out of the How to Beat the Red Wings textbook. I hate outings like this.
• Of course, it didn’t help that the Wings completely went to sleep during the second period. I guess they were bound to have a bad effort after they’ve been on such a roll.
• I really hate these “At least we got a point?!” games. They’re no fun at all.
• On one shift Shea Weber had both Lilja and Filppula limping after blocking his shots. Ken Daniels (I think it was him.) called Lilja a tripod, which is something I’m just going to leave alone. Surprising absolutely no one, the Predators scored shortly afterward. I really think the boys should be discouraged from trying to block his shots. It rarely works out well.
• The Preds’ first goal bounced in off of Homer’s stick. They’re second bounced in off of Z’s skate. It was a typical stifling trap game capitalizing on a couple of lucky bounces.
• Nick Lidstrom wiped out and got walked around for a great scoring chance during the third period. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that before. He almost looked human for a fraction of a second there. It was weird.
• It’s really exciting that Datsyuk is starting to take more shots like the one that sent the game to overtime. We’ve been talking about the need for more shoot all season long, and these last few games have showed why that’s so important.
• Sixteen seconds into overtime? Seriously? At least they got a point.
• During the post-game, Mickey York made fun of Barry Trotz’s lack of a neck. Then he called Erat a figure skater. My appreciation for him rose infinitely.
• In other news, I went to the scavenger hunt this morning. My mom and I teamed up with high hopes for a victory, but we were derailed by a failure in communication. I jumped in the car and yelled for her to drive to Hockeytown Café, which she interpreted to mean Hockeytown Authentics. I was so busy eating the Stanley Cupcake we had made at the bakery that I didn’t notice that we were going the wrong direction until three miles later. Once we finally made it to the right Hockeytown and realized that we had been eliminated, we tried to help my dad and sister by googling things on our phones. It didn’t help. They were busy driving up and down Jefferson in Grosse Pointe. When they finally did find the Timmy’s they were looking for, my dad couldn’t drink the iced coffee fast enough anyway.
• I’m really in love with the cupcakes we got at the start of the scavenger hunt. They totally made getting up early worthwhile.
• We seriously debated letting the air out of my dad’s tires and stealing his spark plugs before we left for the scavenger hunt. That would’ve been pretty awesome.
• Congrats to Sara and Greta for winning the suite tickets. I was really glad that they went to folks that I know.
  

GP Answers:
1. The Wings need three points to clinch a playoff spot. These two points are huge in terms of securing a place in the postseason and trying to pass Nashville for the fifth seed. Are they going to bring themselves that much closer to where we all know they belong?
Well, they got the one. Now they just need one more victory to guarantee a spot. Or, they could wait for Colorado or Calgary to lose, but I like my first idea better. They still have two games in hand on Nashville, so fifth place isn’t out of the question, but it would’ve been nice to pick up the points in the head-to-head matchup today.

2. Again with the sixty minutes thing. Babcock has pointed out that the last two games haven’t been ideal efforts. Now’s the time to get that sorted out and back on track. Can the boys play a complete game?
The first and third periods weren’t terrible, but the second was a nightmare. Not only was it dominated by Nashville, but it was also boring.

3. Is anyone going to score a goal this time around?
There were plenty of goals to go around. They just didn’t quite fall to the right side. Although to be fair, most of the scoring was technically done by the Wings, as two of Nashville’s goals went in off of Detroit forwards.

4. What ridiculous thing is Bertuzzi going to do in an attempt to score? On Thursday, he spiked the puck into the net, put one in with his skate—an extremely borderline success, and smacked the goalie in the face with his stick. I’m telling you, there’s a header coming.
He didn’t do anything special that I noticed. He did look like he was about to kill Dan Hamhuis at one point. That particular altercation led to Bertuzzi in the box negating a Wings powerplay. I’m still not sure why coincidental minors weren’t handed out there, but I suspect it had something to do with the fact that Bertuzzi was trying to murder someone again.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Pavel Datsyuk
See, Pav? This is why we need more shoot! Aside from that goal, he was all over the ice this afternoon. He set up one goal while sitting on his butt on the ice after falling down. He’s been displaying a lot of Dangle Dangle magic over these last couple of games.

Composite Sticks get the Golden Facepalm
Draper’s broken stick led to one of Nashville’s goals, and later on Franzen’s stick literally disintegrated in his hands to negate a brilliant scoring chance. I have a sneaky suspicion that Mickey Redmond’s going to break into the Wings’ locker room tonight and replace all of their sticks with wood ones.

What I Learned:
There should really be a federal law banning the trap. This goes beyond the scope of the NHL. It needs to be an act of Congress.

Red Wings 3, Canucks 6: Post Game Snipes...

• All that goodwill that Ryan Kesler built up during the Olympics? Gone.
• Sure the goaltending could’ve been better tonight, but the real problem was the guys skating in front of the goalies.
• At one point during the broadcast, Mickey Redmond went to such lengths to set up a jockstrap-in-the-rafters joke that there’s no way he didn’t have cue cards helping him get through it. I think it was worth the effort.
• Mickey was also thrilled when Datsyuk threw a sucker punch and took a penalty for it. He sounded like a proud papa whose kid just did something awesome. He might be hanging a copy of the box score on his refrigerator at home to commemorate it.
• I don’t know why it is, but it always seems like it’s the phantom penalty calls that result in powerplay goals. It’s never the blatant hooks or obvious cross-checking calls that teams cash in on. It’s the calls that make you want to bang your head on a wall in the first place.
• By the second half of the third period, when it had become clear that the Wings weren’t going to recover, all I wanted was to keep Luongo’s GAA down. I realized that I accidentally started him on my fantasy team and I figured that I might as well get something good out of the night. Then Franzen went and scored, and I was stuck trying to figure out if his points were worth weakening Luongo’s stats. I’m still not sure, but every game reminds me more and more how much we missed The Mule.
  

GP Answers:
1. The last time the Wings won three games in a row was in a different century (or at least that’s what it feels like). Can they make it three in a row tonight?
No. And except for a few minutes in the first period, they didn’t really look like they wanted to.

2. Can the powerplay actually keep working consistently after a good performance against Colorado on Monday?
Well, it didn’t much matter.

3. How is Lilja going to hold up in his second game back? This is when his conditioning should start catching up to him.
I didn’t really notice him much tonight. For a third-pair defenseman, that’s a good thing in my book.

4. Just how Danglelicious is Pavel Datsyuk going to be tonight?
He showed some moments of brilliance, as usual, but the Dangleliciousness that we’ve seen recently wasn’t there for most of the night.

5. How many goals are going to be called off because of Tomas Holmstrom’s behind?
Thankfully none. Although that might’ve actually gotten me interested in the game. This one was barely watchable.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Johan Franzen
If Franzen had been in the lineup all season, the Wings wouldn’t be in as bad of a position right now. I guarantee it.

Niklas Kronwall gets the Golden Facepalm
At one point, he had a glorious scoring opportunity, but only managed to step on the puck and wipe out. I got a kick out of it, and was still laughing as the Canucks proceeded to retrieve the puck, carry it down the ice, and score. At that point, I stopped laughing.

What I Learned:
We’re in for an ugly, ugly March.

Good News (Yes, You Read that Correctly)...

As I’m sure you know by now, Niklas Kronwall is slated for a return to the lineup tomorrow. This is huge for the Wings. His presence should have a trickle-down effect on all of the defensive pairings, as well as the offense. Having him in the lineup allows us to rid ourselves of either Lebda or Meech. My money’s on Meech sitting because Lebda occasionally has flashes of brilliance in which he appears to be a real, live NHL defenseman. Granted, they’re few and far between, but they do exist. Meech just goes out there and skates around and does…I don’t really know. He should be an evangelical preacher because every time he sets foot on the ice, a million Wings fans start praying. Stuart and Kronwall were dynamite together before Georges Laraque saw fit to remove him from the Wings’ lineup, and his presence may help settle Stuart down after a rough patch. He’s also been sorely missed on the powerplay over the last couple of months. I have no idea what the Wings’ percentage is since the beginning of November, but it has to be close to single digits. How excited are you for a powerplay unit that doesn’t feature Derek Meech?

I was also surprised to hear that Andreas Lilja is potentially nearing a return. A couple of days ago, Mickey Redmond mentioned that he was close to returning, but I think we fans universally wrote that off as crazy talk. This impression was confirmed when Ken Holland said that nothing had changed regarding Lilja’s status. Lo and behold today, though, Lilja said that he had gone 13 straight days without a headache. Should he reach that elusive 14-day mark, he could potentially be cleared to play. (On a side note, we’re coming up on 11 months since his concussion. Can you imagine how rotten of a mood you’d be in if you’d been having almost constant headaches for that long? I’m pretty sure even my dog would’ve stopped liking me by now.) This would be another huge step for the defense because it would mean that a) we would also be rid of Lebda and b) Jonathan Ericsson could be paired with a more experienced defenseman who he could potentially learn something (good) from. I’ve been a critic of Lilja in the past, but he was looking pretty solid last season before he broke his head, and at any rate, he has to be better than Lebda.

On top of all this, Jason Williams is nearing a return to the lineup, Tomas Holmstrom is hoping to be back soon, and Johan Franzen is considering a miraculous pre-Olympic break return. I’d probably prefer that he wait until after the break because it’s basically two weeks of free rehab for him and there’s no sense rushing him back. I have no idea what this means for the salary cap, but I'll leave that to smarter folks to figure out.

If I were a member of another Western Conference organization, I’d be looking over my shoulder right about now. The Wings have been hanging in there on the periphery of the playoff race like some kind of zombie that you just can’t kill. Now that they’re finally getting healthy, I can’t imagine that the other teams in the West are thrilled about the idea of the Wings creeping up behind them.

We have a little less than three weeks until the Olympic break. A lot can happen in that amount of time. Let’s hope they’re good things. Also, it’s unbelievably fun to be writing about happy news for a change. All this excitement has put me in a pretty good mood. I’m starting to feel a strange sensation that may in seasons past have been called optimism.

Random semi-hockey related quote of the day:
My dad, while assessing the swelling on my newly-sprained ankle: “Just be glad you’re not a hockey player so you don’t have to worry about fitting it into a skate so you can go back out and play.”

Red Wings 2, Kings 3: Post Game Snipes...

• Another chance for the Wings to climb the standings, another lackluster effort from the boys. Yawn.
• There was apparently a man up in the rafters at some point during the game, so they cleared an entire section of the lower bowl. I’m still confused about this. It was never mentioned on FSD’s broadcast, but I remember seeing a shot of the Wings’ bench during the second period when they were all staring at something up above. I assumed it was something on the big screen, but I guess they were looking at the guy.
• Filppula’s goal was beautiful, but so was the hard work Dan Cleary put in beforehand.
• Bertuzzi’s goal came on a fun deflection off of his knee. I was amused by it.
• After the first period, things were looking good. The last minute of play was dominated by the Kings, but the Wings had a two goal lead and looked like they could stay in control.
• The Wings actually scored on the powerplay. It was a 5-on-3, so there was no excuse not to. The second penalty that the Kings took was brutal.
• And then the rest of the game happened. Just out of curiosity, when was the last time you saw this team play a full 60 minute game? It’s been a while.
• One positive trend that I’m noticing is that the Wings’ defensemen are getting more shots through to the net from the blueline. Earlier in the season, they were passing more or getting them blocked. This will be even more important when Holmstrom returns.
• Stuart made another awesome goal line save that seemed huge at the time. It went to review, but even though the replays clearly showed that it didn’t go in, I held my breath. You never can tell how they’re going to rule anymore. Someone on FSD (I can’t remember who) said, “That was a goal last week against Dallas.” And he was right.
• Meech had a breakaway. There’s nothing else to say about that. I’m sure you can guess how it ended if you don’t already know.
• The Kings’ first goal was ugly. Ericsson made a bad turnover, and then Howard tried to grab the rebound but missed. The rebound itself wasn’t bad, but he should’ve been able to cover it up. He just whiffed on it.
• At one point during the broadcast, Mickey Redmond took it upon himself to announce that Lilja could be back as soon as next week. Everyone was astonished because nothing had been said about his progress recently. Ken Holland (and common sense) refuted that. Part of me wonders if Mick got a little telestrator happy and circled the wrong guy on the graphic FSD had up at the time.
• Mick also jokingly suggested that players use blood capsules a la WWE to draw the extra minor on highsticking calls.
• I really wanted to go down to this game, but I’m glad I didn’t make the trek. I would just be more angry.
  

GP Answers:
1. Can the Wings pull it off today? This game needs to be won, and it needs to be won in regulation. None of that OT/SO nonsense this time around. I don’t care about any of the trivial stuff I usually ask about in these GPs, as long as the Wings come away with two points, and LA gets none.
No. They had a chance to pass LA in the standings and continue working their way into a solid playoff spot, but they couldn’t be bothered to play more than one period of hockey. Again. Wasn’t this team supposed to be angry this season? Weren’t they supposed to have something to prove? I know they’re still missing important guys, but missing talented guys is not an excuse for lack of effort.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Valtteri Filppula
He showed some great hands and patience on his goal to open the scoring. It was a pretty good-looking goal.

An Extra Stick Tap for Brad Stuart
That puck he scooped out of the net was millimeters away from crossing the goal line. It turned out that it didn’t matter much, but it was huge at the time.

Jonathan Ericsson gets the Golden Facepalm
He made the turnover that led to the Kings’ first goal. It was a costly mistake, and he can’t be making turnovers like that in the defensive zone.

What I Learned:
The Wings haven’t really turned a corner after all.

New Rules for 2010...

Inspired by Mitch Albom’s column on Sunday (Yeah, I know, I know.), I decided to write some of my own rules for 2010 (pronounced twenty-ten, sunshines). Since we live in Little Gary’s universe, and I have absolutely zero power, none of these things will ever happen. A girl can dream though. Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.

For the Red Wings:

• Chris Osgood has to age at least a little. He looks like he could be my kid brother. I’m only 23.
• Mike Babcock has to wear fedoras to every game. This is crucial.
• Ozzie’s calendar is only allowed to include the months of April, May, and June. They’ll just cycle through four times a year each.
• Nobody else in a Wings uniform is allowed to get hurt. Ever.
• The Wings have to release a new line of stylish tin foil hats for fans with fashion sense.
• Wings games are now state-wide holidays. No class or work can be scheduled during them.
• Darren Helm has to learn how to finish his chances.
• Pavel Datsyuk has to make an exercise video based off of his pre-game stretching routine. Move over, Richard Simmons.
  
• The 19th day of each month should also be a holiday on which everyone is required to wear Wings apparel.
• The Wings get a restraining order against Brad Watson and Dennis LaRue so we never have to see them again.
• Mickey Redmond must be unleashed on the telestrator at least once per period during each and every broadcast.
• Sorry, MacLean, the ‘stache has to go.
• Larry Murphy’s makeup artist is fired. Now.
• The Zetterberg fangirls have lost their privilege to vote for the player of the game.
• “Kronwalled” is hereby added to the dictionary.
• No more shutout losses. I won’t allow it.
• The Wings’ powerplay needs to figure out a way to score on a regular basis.
• Ville Leino has to race Darren Helm so that I can point and laugh.
  

For the NHL:

• All NHL broadcasts must include the word “fabulosity” at least once.
• Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire are banned. There’s really no need for anyone to ever hear them speak again.
• Gary Bettman must be constantly followed by an entourage of fans who walk behind him and boo him. Everywhere he goes, they follow.
• Nobody gets to use the word “fronting” any more. It’s to be permanently deleted from everyone’s vocabulary.
• Ditto for “time and space.”
• Whining is now a 5 minute major. Boo hoo, he touched you with his stick. You’re a grown man who’s making more money to play a game than I’ll ever make in my life. Man up. This also applies to my little sister.
• No more ads with Sidney Crosby. Seriously. We don’t want to see his face.
• Dennis LaRue and Brad Watson will both win the lottery only to find out that the lotto agency “intended to blow” the whistle before their numbers were drawn. They don’t get a penny.
• Versus must learn to show appropriate replays. You know, things like penalties that might be important to the game.
• All sports bars are required to carry Versus. No excuses.
• NBC has to stop pretending that nobody has ever seen a hockey game before when it broadcasts games. Believe it or not, not all of us need to have the concept of a powerplay explained to us.
• Third jerseys are no longer permitted.
• Ditto for pink ones. These are a travesty.
• Nobody talks about Crosby’s dryer or the Lucky Loony ever again. Enough is enough.
• The league has to market at least one team in the West not located in Chicago. I’m sick of seeing all the hype directed at the Eastern Conference when statistics clearly show that the West is superior.
  

For everyone else:

• It's pronounced twenty-ten. Get with the program.
  
• All slow walkers (who are not elderly…we’ll give them a pass) will be banished to Siberia.
• Lolspeak must die a miserable, painful death. You look like a moron when you write like that. And I judge you.
• Anyone who leaves shopping carts in the middle of parking lots without returning them to the cart corral will have their driver's license revoked.
  
• Nobody over the age of 13 is allowed to have a fauxhawk. I’m looking at you, Bertuzzi.
• Stores are no longer allowed to claim something is on clearance if it’s only 30% off. 30% is not a clearance. It’s just a good sale. At half off, we’ll talk.
• If you don’t feel like driving the speed limit, you’re banned from the freeway. Take the side streets. I have places to be, and I’d like to get there in a timely manner.
• Twelve-year-olds don’t need fancy phones and unlimited text message plans.
• Using a kid leash is now considered child abuse.
  
• Waking up before 8 AM is prohibited.
• The minimum tip for adequate service is 15%. And that’s pretty stingy. 20% should be your baseline. Servers have bills to pay, and rely on tips for their living. Complementing them is nice, but before leaving a bad tip, stop and consider whether kind words from a stranger would help you make your car payment.
• All Crocs and Ugs must be burned.
• Ditto for anything Twilight related. In fact, the word “twilight” is also banned, except for when referring to dusk.

(UPDATE 9:55 PM 1/4/09) Two important ones that I forgot:

• Lady Gaga=gone. ASAP.
• If you walk down the middle of a parking lot aisle and block traffic, you can legally be run over by the cars trying to get through. You're fair game at that point.
  

Wings 3, Predators 2 (OT): Post Game Snipes...

• The night began with a turkey feast with my little sister’s Girl Scout troop. We dined on the turkey that I won while turkey bowling at the Joe the day before Thanksgiving. It was pretty tasty for something I picked up on the ice at a hockey rink and then carted around the stands for two periods.
• After seeing Helm take that puck to the face, one of my 12-year-old Girl Scouts suggested that the Wings should do the same to Nashville, that they should “aim for the nose, because that hurts the most.” Obviously, I’ve been a good role model. The girls did spend a lot of time distracting me so I missed large portions of the game.
• Unfortunately, I missed the goal in OT because I was too busy wrestling with my brother to prevent him from deleting an awkward picture that I took of him. I caught it on the replay though and managed to salvage the picture, so all is well. Although I have to say that when I walked back into the family room and saw the celebration, I actually thought they were replaying the end of last night’s game.
• Bert’s first goal was the result of a spin move that actually worked. It was incredible. His second goal was another beautiful “goal-scorer’s goal.” I’ve never quite figured out what that means, but it was fantastic.
• I don’t know if this makes me a bad person or not, but I was actually kind of relieved when I realized that Jordin Tootoo was the injured Predator. I certainly never want to see players get hurt, but if one guy had to go down...I feel like silencing the whistles was a public service. I was just glad that I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the game listening to them.
• The Wings’ PK streak ended at eight games and twenty-seven straight kills during the second period. While it was disappointing to see the streak end, it was going to happen eventually. That’s a pretty darn good run, and they need to keep up the good work. Now if we could just get that powerplay sorted out.
• Pavel Datsyuk had two assists tonight. Ken and Mickey originally wanted to award Miller’s goal to him, but his shot had clearly gone off the crossbar.
• Miller’s goal got reviewed briefly, and even though the replays clearly showed that his stick was below the crossbar…I was nervous that they would find some excuse to call it back.
• Not only did the Wings score first, but they also built up a two-goal lead. I was totally confused...until they let Nashville tie the game during the third period and force overtime.
  
• I never really had anything against Shea Weber before, but he certainly earned his way onto my list tonight.
• Since nobody was able/willing to believe what happened during OT last night, the Hockey Gods went and made it happen again. I think we’ve finally arrived in Wonderland because none of this makes any sense at all. I keep looking around and all I see is Todd Bertuzzi grinning at me like a gap-toothed Cheshire Cat.
  

GP Answers:
1. Ville Leino finally picked up a point last night, and Todd Bertuzzi came through with two goals. They’ve been the focus of much of the criticism for underproduction this season. Can the two of them build on the Anaheim game and keep putting up points?
Leino wasn’t completely invisible, but he still needs to do more. Bertuzzi, However, stole the show again. When he broke the scoreless tie in the second period, he had accounted for the last three Wings goals. He now has four of the last five. Not only that, but he’s also scored two straight OT game-winners. Yeah, I know. It’s hard for me to believe too. I love how confident he looks and how much fun he seems to be having out there. If he keeps this up, he may just make a convert out of me.

2. I haven’t seen the Wings’ starter announced anywhere, but I haven’t exactly had a lot of time to go looking for it. Based on the back-to-back rotation thingy Babcock likes to do, I’m assuming we’ll see Osgood in net tonight. Will we get treated to playoff Ozzie or regular season Ozzie tonight?
Osgood was fine. I’m not entirely sure what he was doing on the second Nashville goal, but there was so much else going on during that play that I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

3. During the post-game last night, Mickey Redmond was already getting feisty about those stupid train whistles the Nashville fans seem to enjoy using all the time. Keep in mind that this is also the same franchise that used to do the ridiculous screechy air-quote fangs. No team has the right to be that obnoxious, especially one that’s never won a playoff series. How long will I last before I have to mute the TV to keep from throwing things at it?
I had to watch the first period with the TV on mute anyway and then with Tootoo gone there was little whistle-blowing for the remainder of the game. My TV was quite relived to be saved from being pelted with whatever was within my reach.

4. Datsyuk and Zetterberg have been missing an absurd amount of shots that they should be putting on net and/or burying. The Eurotwins need to collectively recalibrate their targeting computers or something. Datsyuk had the game on his stick during the final minute of the Ducks game, and hit the side of the net. Zetterberg had a great scoring opportunity in close at one point and sent his shot about 300 feet wide of the net (Go ahead, challenge my measurements if you want. I dare you.). It’s like the two of them have caught Mikael Samuelsson cooties or something. Will they be able to figure out their issues tonight, or will I spend another game pulling my hair out?
Datsyuk had two assists tonight, but they both had issues putting the puck on the net. If they start burying half of their chances…

Cookies and Cupcakes for Todd Bertuzzi
He scored two goals tonight, including the overtime winner. If that doesn’t earn you free dessert, I don’t know what does. His second goal came off of an absolutely ridiculous shot move. Please, please let this carry over and get him on a roll. (Copy/pasted from last night’s Post Game Snipes with the exception of the one correction. I don’t know what to make of this.)

Derek Meech gets the Golden Facepalm
I don’t know if the second goal can really be pinned on him, but he’s due for one of these and I couldn’t single anyone else out who I felt deserved this.

What I learned:
Maybe my dad was right about Todd Bertuzzi…

Wings vs. Predators GP...

Wings vs. Predators @8 PM

1. Ville Leino finally picked up a point last night, and Todd Bertuzzi came through with two goals. They’ve been the focus of much of the criticism for underproduction this season. Can the two of them build on the Anaheim game and keep putting up points?
2. I haven’t seen the Wings’ starter announced anywhere, but I haven’t exactly had a lot of time to go looking for it. Based on the back-to-back rotation thingy Babcock likes to do, I’m assuming we’ll see Osgood in net tonight. Will we get treated to playoff Ozzie or regular season Ozzie tonight?
3. During the post-game last night, Mickey Redmond was already getting feisty about those stupid train whistles the Nashville fans seem to enjoy using all the time. Keep in mind that this is also the same franchise that used to do the ridiculous screechy air-quote fangs. No team has the right to be that obnoxious, especially one that’s never won a playoff series. How long will I last before I have to mute the TV to keep from throwing things at it?
4. Datsyuk and Zetterberg have been missing an absurd amount of shots that they should be putting on net and/or burying. The Eurotwins need to collectively recalibrate their targeting computers or something. Datsyuk had the game on his stick during the final minute of the Ducks game, and hit the side of the net. Zetterberg had a great scoring opportunity in close at one point and sent his shot about 300 feet wide of the net (Go ahead, challenge my measurements if you want. I dare you.). It’s like the two of them have caught Mikael Samuelsson cooties or something. Will they be able to figure out their issues tonight, or will I spend another game pulling my hair out?

I may or may not be watching the game tonight. We’ll see how this whole cookie-baking party goes down.