Thoughts on the Realignment...

Now that I've finally had a chance to look at the realignment plans, I'm developing a deep sense of confusion. I actually feel like the NHL might've done something right. That doesn't happen very often, so it's going to take me a while to get used to that fact. It's not exactly what I would've drawn up in a perfect world, but it's a heck of a lot better than the current system. At least for the Wings and Columbus. It doesn't seem like it affects other teams nearly as much.

(Sidenote: All of these news articles are describing the decision as “radical.” Is it really that radical? The new Conferences don't deviate a whole lot from the way things are now.)

I think the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the Florida teams are grouped together with the northern teams in the East. It just doesn't make sense to me, and things like that tend to annoy me forever. Also, through my Wings-fan goggles, it seems an awful lot like pandering to teams like Pittsburgh, Philly, and Washington. On that note, funny how the coddled little Eastern teams ended up in the smaller divisions, eh?

I'm also not super excited about having to see the same old boring Central Division teams over and over again, but that has a lot to do with the current quality of competition. A couple of years down the road, those teams could change a lot and make life interesting. Well, maybe not Columbus, but you get the idea.

Mostly though, I like the fact that the Wings' travel is going to be cut down significantly. This makes the biggest difference in the playoffs. I've said for years that there would be at least two extra Stanley Cup banners hanging in the rafters from the last decade if the Wings had been in the Eastern Conference. Think about how much easier all of those long playoff runs would've been if they hadn't included multiple trips to the west coast. I've always secretly enjoyed the west coast roadtrips because I like staying up for the late games, but I recognize that I'm kind of strange in that sense.

I think my favorite part of the plan is the potential reseeding after the second round of the playoffs. It opens up a whole array of Finals match-ups that could never happen in the current format. Imagine if the Wings had been able to face the Avs in the Stanley Cup Finals during the rivalry years when they were the league's two best teams by a mile. Imagine the possibility of a “Subway Series” with the Rangers and Islanders matched up in the Finals. (That one was a joke, ok?) The league's top two teams should have the ability to play for the Cup in the Finals, even if they both happen to be from the same Conference.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 5-1-0

Blue Jackets: 0-7-1

Red Wing Zen:

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 4-0-0

Blue Jackets: 0-5-1

Red Wings Zen: 

Point and Laugh:

Video Candy:

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 42-20-8

Blue Jackets: 32-27-10

Red Wing Zen:

Brad Stuart

3-13-16, +/- 3, 36 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Mathieu Garon

9-10-5, 2.61 GAA, .905 SV%

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 31-13-6

Blue Jackets: 23-22-5

Red Wing Zen:

Jiri Hudler

4-4-18, +/- -7, 12 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Kristian Huselius

9-6-15, +/- -15, 8 PIM

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 27-11-6

Blue Jackets: 21-20-3

Back-to-backs like these make me glad I gave up bothering to write real GPs a while ago.


Red Wing Zen:

Henrik Zetterberg

16-33-49, +/- 9, 22 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Ethan Moreau

1-4-5, +/- -5, 16 PIM

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 27-11-5

Blue Jackets: 20-20-3

Red Wing Zen:

Jimmy Howard

22-7-3, .907 SV%, 2.78 GAA

Point and Laugh:

RJ Umberger

14-15-29, +/- 3, 26 PIM

Red Wings 4, Blue Jackets 2: Post Game Snipes...

• I was concerned about how the Wings would start this game since it had an early start time, but they actually looked pretty lively in the first period.
• During the pre-game show, FSD did a segment where they asked players about their hidden talents. Darren Helm's talents were walking on his hands and doing the Worm.
• I've had a long-standing suspicion that when Chris Osgood is on the bench, he's doodling instead of charting faceoffs. The hidden talents segment made me positive that I'm right, as Ozzie revealed that he likes to draw pictures.
• Jiri Hudler claimed to be a good BBQer. I'm not sure I'd want to eat something he cooked.
• The Circus line looked threatening all night. Zetterberg, in particular, had a lot of good chances and looked dominant with and without the puck. He didn't end up with any points to show for it, but it was definitely one of his best games of the season.
• We were subjected to the Blue Jackets' hideous third jerseys for the second game in a row. I'm sorry, are Wings fans being punished for something? Evidently Mickey Redmond likes them. He said something about Columbus looking like a whole different team when wearing them. Ken Daniels responded by saying that they looked like the Florida Panthers. Boom.
• Kronwall and Helm scored fourteen seconds apart in the second period. Just like that, the Wings went from trailing to being in the lead. That's what this team can do to you.
• The penalty kill in the third period was outstanding. The Wings out-worked and out-played the Blue Jackets for all of Filppula's double minor, as well as the two-minute 5-on-3 kill in the middle of it. The fans at the Joe were on their feet applauding the team. Everything about it made me smile.
• Filppula ended up with the game-winner for the second game in a row. I'm guessing his finely-tuned fashion sense finds the ugly third jerseys the Blue Jackets were wearing objectionable.
• The Wings were 0-5 on the powerplay tonight. Ouch.
• After the game, FSD showed a slo-mo replay of Jimmy Howard squirting water on his face from the water bottle. It prompted my little brother and I to laugh hysterically. Was that really something we needed to slo-mo?

Hero: Henrik Zetterberg
He didn't pick up any points on the evening, but he was dominant throughout the whole game. I was really convinced that he was going to score tonight. Obviously, I was wrong, but that doesn't take away from his effort.

Villain: Steve Mason
He looked like he'd been shot after Abdelkader's goalie interference penalty. The little peek he took to make sure the ref had noticed his acting was cute, too.

Final Thought:
That's not a bad way to close out Thanksgiving weekend at all.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 14-4-2

Blue Jackets: 14-7-0

Didn't we just do this?
 

Red Wing Zen:

Ruslan Salei

0-5-5, +/- 2, 26 PIM

Point and Laugh:

Mathieu Garon

6-1-0, 1.33 GAA, .950 SV%

Red Wings 2, Blue Jackets 1: Post Game Snipes...

• Special teams were key in the game tonight. The Wings relied on their strong PK to kill off FIVE straight penalties. Columbus ended up going 0-5 on the powerplay. The Wings then got 3 straight powerplays, one of which resulted in a goal.
• I personally thought that the Jackets deserved a major penalty for wearing such ugly jerseys. Or maybe the refs were trying to help them out because they felt sorry for them.
• Franzen finally scored his first road goal of the season.
• When I first saw Columbus' third jerseys, I was kind of ambivalent. I thought they were stupid because I dislike the concept of third jerseys in general (they're nothing more than a cash grab) and they looked exactly like most other third jerseys out there on the market. However, as the game wore on, every time FSD showed a close-up of a Blue Jacket player, I hated them a little bit more. The cream on the shoulders really took them from mediocre to ugly. The font used for the numbers didn't help matters either.
• After returning from a commercial, Larry Murphy was going over a play that had happened earlier and said “Umdinger” instead of “Umberger.” I found it way more amusing than I should have. Umdinger.
• At the end of the game, Jakub Voracek proceeded to smack himself on the head with his stick. Why? The world may never know.
• Anyone else think that a Jared Boll penalty shot was much less punishment for the Wings than a two-minute powerplay would've been?
• Mike Modano left the game after being cut on the hand/wrist with a skate blade. Trevor Thompson's post-game tweets about it didn't sound promising.
• Valtteri Filppula picked up the game-winner on the powerplay. I don't know why, but I always forget about him. He needs to do more things like that so I'll remember him.

Hero: Jimmy Howard
He made stop after stop after stop to keep the Wings in the game including a huge (although not terribly challenging) save on the penalty shot in the second period. After having a rough night in Atlanta two days ago, he bounced back and was the star of the game by far.

Villains: The Referees
Five straight penalties, plus a penalty shot, against the Wings? Columbus conveniently taking the next three straight penalties? Changing standards for hooking? Tonight was a classic example of NHL officiating.

Final Thought:
The most important regular season game in franchise history didn't turn out so well for the Blue Jackets.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Red Wings: 13-4-2

Blue Jackets: 14-6-0

Red Wing Zen:

Brad Stuart

2-7-9, +/- 8, 24 PIM

Point and Laugh:

RJ Umberger

(This was taken when he was on the Flyers.)

7-8-15, +/- 10, 24 PIM

Red Wings 3, Blackhawks 2 (OT): Post Game Snipes...

• I missed most of the first two periods yesterday. This has become a disturbing trend over the last couple of weeks, but I assure you that it’s coming to an end now that the playoffs are starting. My little brother felt that it was his manly right to control the remote, and we ended up watching more Tigers than Red Wings (not that I was necessarily pitching a fit about this the whole time). No more though. It’s playoff time. Now things get serious.
• I particularly liked Brad Stuart’s shift at the end of regulation when he just kept knocking the same Hawk down again and again and again. Then he went and followed that up by scoring the game-winner in OT. You can probably guess who’s getting the baked goods at this point.
• Homer’s goal was another classic by him. In other news, if you haven’t seen it yet, Homer has a new fake blog, For Sure… (UPDATE: 4/13/10 11:58 PM: Uh, link fail.), which is being ghostwritten by several different people, including yours truly.
• It warmed my heart that the Wings were the reason the Blackhawks didn’t get to finish first in the West. A Hawks fan on twitter informed me that it was actually because San Jose likes losing games in overtime, but that makes little sense. I’m not surprised.
• The other day I said something about the Wings being done with the shootout for the season. As regulation ticked down and overtime went along, I was becoming more and more convinced that the boys were heading to a shootout just to spite me. Luckily, Brad Stuart was there to save the day.
  

GP Answers:
1. Are the Wings going to play like they want that 5th seed, or just coast through this game?
They got the 5th seed. Honestly, I don’t really care what they did to get there. It’s irrelevant now.

2. Can this game be at least a little more interesting than the last one against Columbus?
Tough call. I didn’t see most of it, but I was definitely entertained by the third period and overtime.

3. What glaring weakness is Chicago’s goaltending going to demonstrate?
Actually, from what I saw, he didn’t look too bad.

4. Can the boys just pretty please finish out this nightmarish season with a win over Little Brother?
:)

Cookies and Cupcakes for Brad Stuart
Oh my goodness, did ever look happy when he scored that overtime goal. I think part of it was relief that he didn’t miss the net, but I was happy to see him get the goal. He’s a guy that’s been solid for most of the year, but doesn’t get nearly enough credit.

Nobody gets the Golden Facepalm
Why? I’m feeling charitable today since I get to look forward to the playoffs now. Let’s head to the post-season with nothing but goodwill and rounds of Kumbaya.

What I Learned:
Bring on the Coyotes.

Red Wings vs. Blackhawks GP...

This is the last GP I’m going to be writing. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I hated writing them and that it was stupid to keep doing so since the whole point of this is to have fun. I’ve got an idea about something to do for the playoffs, and then I’ve got all summer to figure out something new for next season.

1. Are the Wings going to play like they want that 5th seed, or just coast through this game?
2. Can this game be at least a little more interesting than the last one against Columbus?
3. What glaring weakness is Chicago’s goaltending going to demonstrate?
4. Can the boys just pretty please finish out this nightmarish season with a win over Little Brother?

In other news, make sure you check out For Sure…, Tomas Holmstrom’s imaginary blog in which he chronicles his life on the road, describes his love of candy, and ponders why nobody understands him. It’s modeled after Andreas Lilja’s blog, which is guaranteed to improve your life by at least 10% when you read it.

Red Wings 1, Blue Jackets 0 (SO): Post Game Snipes...

• If I had to choose one word to describe this game, it would be boring. I almost dozed off on the couch. If it weren’t for the oh so interesting conversations on Twitter, I probably would’ve.
• Mickey Redmond apparently has a new telestrator that he has difficulty working. It’s a shame that the season’s coming to an end and he and Ken Daniels will soon get replaced by announcers that we hate.
• Ken and Mickey also took the opportunity to fuel the Alex Burrows hate by reading his anti-Detroit comments. They even made a referee joke. It was kind of awesome.
• Helm got a penalty shot on a pretty chintzy call. He fell victim to a Mason poke check and never really got a shot off. I can’t say that I was particularly surprised
• Columbus’ crowd was so enthusiastic that the Wings fans in attendance had a LGRW chant going for a solid minute in the third period without the slightest opposition.
• With any luck, that was the last time we’ll have to see a shootout this season. Of course, by typing that, I’ve doomed us to one final one tomorrow. Figures.
• Babcock went with Kronner over some of the regular shooters. Sadly, he didn’t manage to win the game this time around.
• Another shutout for Jimmy. The Calder dream is alive and well.
  

GP Answers:
1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
Ten seasons in a row, sunshines. This feels good just to keep the streak alive. Now, just for a moment, close your eyes and imagine how many more points they would’ve had if they had been healthy for most of the season or even just converted on half of those OT/SO losses…

2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
Score a shootout goal? It wasn’t one of his ridiculous ones, but it was pretty nonetheless.

3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
Nope. They played this one like just another regular season game. It’ll be interesting to see how things shake out tomorrow in Chicago.

4. The efforts during the last three games weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?
Ehhhhhhh…Columbus never took over the game at any point, but man was that boring to watch.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Jimmy Howard
Another shootout/shutout win for everyone’s favorite Calder contender.

Brian Rafalski gets the Golden Facepalm
He did something to cause me to tweet, “Oh Rafalski, that was ugly,” and even though I honestly have no idea what it was, I’m assuming that it was deserving of this. I’m thinking that it was an ugly turnover that led to a scoring chance for the BJs, but it could be anything. I think this last paragraph shows my level of commitment to quality writing and analysis.

What I Learned:
You know it’s a boring game when you find yourself discussing National League baseball via Twitter in the middle of it.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

Yeah I've gotten that lazy. This is almost exactly what I posted for the last game with one minor change in the wording. Blame the NHL schedulers for making the Wings play the BJs over and over again so close together.

1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
4. The efforts during the last three games weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?

Red Wings 4, Blue Jackets 3: Post Game Snipes...

• I missed the first 50 minutes or so of the game, so I don’t have much to say tonight. I promise that it was worth it though. My reason for missing the game involved swapping Disney war stories and feasting on this. Yes, I’m bragging, but that’s the second coolest thing I’ve ever made in my life and I think I earned it (It’s pretty obvious that I’m no Baroque). I was supposed to be home in time for the game to start, but I just couldn’t bear to leave my Disney people. They’re really some of the most fun human beings I’ve had the chance to hang out with.
• I walked in the door and frantically searched for the second TV remote. I finally got the stupid built-in menu off of the screen just in time to see the Wings tie the game up. I briefly celebrated and then ran back out to my car to bring something in. As soon as I walked into my room, the Wings scored again. Then I made another trip out to the car and the Wings scored again. When I was making my final trip out to the car, I was semi-anxiously anticipating another Wings goal when I ran back inside. However, this time around, it led to a Columbus goal. I hadn’t realized that my newfound power worked both ways. You’ll be happy to know that I stayed put for the rest of the game.
• I really like Patrick Eaves.
• Did Nick Lidstrom really make that play leading to one of the BJs’ goals? I think he was so stunned at making the ugly turnover that he got caught flat-footed and beaten. That’s clearly the only explanation.
  

GP Answers:
1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
Well, they picked up two tonight. The dream is alive and well for now. Not that it’s the ultimate goal, but it would be nice to get there.

2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
It’s hard to tell. I really didn’t see much tonight.

3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
Looking at the box score, it doesn’t look like anyone had their ice time dramatically cut. The fourth line looks like it picked up a few extra minutes, but overall it didn’t look like guys were getting rested.

4. The efforts against Nashville and Philadelphia weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?
Again, I didn’t see most of the game. This is starting to become a trend, and I don’t like it. I need my hockey.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Tomas Holmstrom
I also love Homer. That is all.

Nick Lidstrom gets the Golden Facepalm
I can’t believe I just typed that. Really. I justified it by reminding myself that if anyone else on the team made that play they’d be a shoo-in for this.

What I Learned:
Apparently I have magical powers that cause goals to be scored by the mere act of walking in and out of my back door.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

1. Hitting 100 points is still a possibility. Can the Wings take another step closer to hitting that landmark?
2. What ridiculous thing is Pavel Datsyuk going to do to amaze us all today?
3. Is Uncle Mike going to cut ice time to get some of the guys rested up for the playoffs?
4. The efforts against Nashville and Philadelphia weren’t exactly something to write home about. Will we get treated to a full 60-minute game?

Red Wings 3, Blue Jackets 2: Post Game Snipes...

• This was a good win, but there were way too many scary moments—Filppula and Franzen, I’m looking at you—when we were all crossing our fingers hoping the guys weren’t hurt. I could really do without that kind of stress in my life.
• It was kind of weird watching this game alone at home. I’d watched three in a row (H2H, post H2H, and the alumni suite) out and about with real people. It was like I actually had a life for a while.
• Henrik Zetterberg somehow ended up nearly getting a piggyback ride on Rick Nash. I still haven't quite figured out the physics involved, but it made me laugh.
  
• At one point, Bertuzzi spiked the puck into the net like he was playing volleyball. He must have been hanging out with Helm, whose favorite sport other than hockey is apparently volleyball. Bert followed that up later by deflecting a puck in with his skate. I was fully convinced that his next attempt would be a header.
• I was shocked that they overruled the no-goal call on Bert’s goal. That’s three calls in a row that have gone in the Wings’ favor—one against the Wild, one against Edmonton, and now this one. Those are the kinds of things you need to have going in your favor if you’re going to go anywhere in the playoffs. The kinds of things that were going against them early in the season.
• Pavel Datsyuk’s goal was everything that a goal should be. There was a little bit of dangle and a whole lot of snipe. I don’t think watching that will ever get old. Ever. He made all three Jackets trying to defend against him look ridiculous, and Mason never had a chance on the shot. Nobody stops that one.
• I think the general consensus is that Mule isn’t allowed to remove his skate until after the playoffs are over. It wouldn’t be hard. It would be just like those fake Zetterberg commercials last season.
  

GP Answers:
1. I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but are the Wings going to play a full sixty minutes tonight? There should really be a sign in the locker room reminding the team of the length of a typical NHL game. Maybe by the “To whom much is given, much is expected” sign, which has always bothered me on some level. There’s something wrong with the grammar, but I can’t figure out how to fix it. It drives me crazy. Really.
I don’t know anything about the beginning of the game since my professor decided to keep us late tonight, but aside from the first few minutes of the second, what I saw looked pretty solid. They gave Columbus more chances than I would like, but there weren’t many stretches when the BJs were dominating.

2. The Wings are riding a season-high six game winning streak. Can they “make it seven?” See what I did there?
Don’t look now, but the Wings have now won seven games in a row. I’m so glad that my lame attempt at being punny wasn’t a jinx.

3. Can the boys contain noted destroyer of Wings, Rick Nash?
His only appearance on the scoresheet was for his trip to the penalty box in the third. He didn’t even get a hat trick tonight. spectacular.

Cookies and Cupcakes for Pavel Datsyuk
That was one of my favorite goals of the season. He also assisted on Homer’s early goal.

An Extra Stick Tap for Tomas Holmstrom
He was all over the place tonight. I love that guy.

Todd Bertuzzi gets the Golden Facepalm
You’re carrying a stick for a reason, sunshine.

What I Learned:
Maybe, just maybe, the Hockey Gods are starting to come back around to the Wings’ side.

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets GP...

1. I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but are the Wings going to play a full sixty minutes tonight? There should really be a sign in the locker room reminding the team of the length of a typical NHL game. Maybe by the “To whom much is given, much is expected” sign, which has always bothered me on some level. There’s something wrong with the grammar, but I can’t figure out how to fix it. It drives me crazy. Really.
2. The Wings are riding a season-high six game winning streak. Can they “make it seven?” See what I did there?
3. Can the boys contain noted destroyer of Wings, Rick Nash?

Three of the Wings’ last six games are against the Blue Jackets. That’s half, for you mathematically challenged folks. Half. Who thought this was a good idea? I think it’s Gary’s last little dig at the Wings for the season.

2009 in Five Minutes or Less...

January

The Winter Classic happened. Without that crucial 16th playoff victory, this game stands out as the highlight of the season. My brother and I requested off of work two months in advance to make sure we weren’t scheduled during the game. I skipped my cousin’s birthday gathering to stay home and watch. It was everything it was cracked up to be. Pavel Datsyuk scored on a wind-aided breakaway. Henrik Zetterberg wore eye black. The Wings showed the Blackhawks that they were still in charge of the Central. The weather was glorious and it made me nostalgic for the childhood pond hockey that I never played. Chris Osgood made a “mastodonic glove grab,” which is a phrase we still have not interpreted. Later on in the month, Datsyuk and Lidstrom were handed quasi-suspensions for electing not to fly to Montreal and shake hands with rich people. During his suspension, Datsyuk gave this now classic interview that accounts for half of the title of this blog. The Wings lost that game, which was incredibly disappointing to me because I really wanted them to skate defiantly to victory despite being wrongfully deprived of two of their superstars. With heroic background music and soaring banners to boot. None of this happened.

February

Andreas Lilja got into a fight and busted a vein in his head. He hasn’t played a game since. I’m all for fighting, but I could’ve done without that one.

March

What happened in March? Nothing ever happens in March. Why does this month even exist?

April

The Wings swept the Blue Jackets in the first round of the playoffs, thus ending Columbus' first ever post-season appearance. Chris Osgood suddenly awoke from his regular season slumber and surprised more than a few of us.

May

(No, not Brad.)

Things were looking good in May. The general consensus was that whoever survived the Wings-Ducks series was going to be the eventual Cup winner. Unfortunately, we all know how things worked out in the end. We did, however, get to witness the Goal that Wasn’t, which left my brother and me screaming and chucking dog toys at the floor of our family room in the middle of the night. After the first of the two Game 7s we had to endure, the Wings faced Chicago. I attended my first ever playoff game, thus checking that off of my life list. The Hawks made fools of themselves at some point, Johan Franzen stole Patrick Kane's mouthguard, and Niklas Kronwall annihilated Martin Havlat. Oh, and I found this humble little corner of the internet where I could spew my random ranting and raving.

June

(That's the Summer Solstice for those of you who failed astronomy class.)

I think it’s best if we just pretend that June never happened.

July

Free agency and the destructive forces of the salary cap finally arrived on our doorsteps as Marian Hossa, Tomas Kopecky, Mikael Samuelsson, and Jiri Hudler skated away with approximately 792 goals. Hudler left for Russia and the NHL decided to use his case to take a stand against the KHL. This left the Wings in limbo until the situation was resolved…and all of the desirable free agents were off the market. Oh, and Ken Holland re-signed some dude named Ville Leino. He must be having work visa issues or something because I still haven't noticed him on the ice.

August

(Why is there a cake, you ask? Well, my birthday is clearly the only important August occurrence.)

Kenny Holland was finally able to venture into the free agent market and landed Patrick Eaves, Jason Williams, and Todd Bertuzzi. I was happy about exactly one of those signings. I spent a great deal of time bored out of my mind, and counting down the days until hockey season started up again.

September

September means training camp, one of the most exciting times of the year for hockey fans (you know, after the playoffs, and the playoff races, and the actual start of the regular season, and...well, I was excited about it). There was the promise of a new season filled with angry Wings out to avenge their heart-breaking loss in Game 7 of the Finals. Instead, Henrik Zetterberg, Dan Cleary, Todd Bertuzzi, and Darren Helm (Am I missing anyone here? These are all starting to blur together.) sat out the majority of training camp and the pre-season with various injuries, thus signifying the beginning of the injury epidemic that continues to plague the Wings.

October

October brought with it the always-exciting return of real, meaningful hockey games. The Wings opened the season in Sweden and came back with exactly zero points. It was epic. Johan Franzen busted his knee, which effectively eliminated him from the majority of the NHL season as well as the Olympics. The news of that injury broke on my brother’s birthday (the one with the mancrush on Franzen), thus ruining the entire age of 19 for him. Other people got hurt, the Wings continued to struggle, and the citizens of Hockeytown began to collectively pull their hair out.

November

Jason Williams’ leg snapped in a way that made even the most steely among us shudder. Steve Yzerman fulfilled his destiny by being inducted into the Hall of Fame. The Wings scored 19 goals over a span of 3 games and we thought that all was right with the world. We even got our first taste of the long-awaited free Arby’s. Dennis LaRue intended to blow his whistle and we were subsequently accused of wearing tin foil hats. Niklas Kronwall joined the legion of injured Wings after a dirty knee-on-knee hit from Georges Laraque. The Wings also went approximately ten years between goals at one point. Oh, and I kind of got to meet Stevie Y at the Joe. So that was nice.

December

The Wings continued to struggle offensively (except for Todd Bertuzzi...more on that later) and got shut out at least 97 times during the month. They also continued my favorite 2009 trend (injuries) as they lost Dan Cleary, Jonathan Ericsson, and Henrik Zetterberg to various ailments. We fans started a podcast and launched a campaign to bring Guilherme to Hockeytown to see a game. We also photoshopped hair onto Brian Rafalski’s head (please reference the podcast). I lost touch with hockey for a week while I was on vacation, and am still pretending that the two losses and Zetterberg’s injury that occurred in my absence didn’t happen. Valtteri Filppula made his long-awaited return to the lineup right after Christmas, and Todd Bertuzzi went on a scoring tear that has just about everyone jumping on his bandwagon. No really, he's the only Wing to have scored in the last four games. Ville Leino accomplished the seemingly impossible feat of playing himself right out of the injury-riddled lineup. You know the hair pulling that started in October? Well, all of Hockeytown is now completely bald (Or is that just me?)--from the stress, not in homage to Rafalski. Our hopes have changed from wanting to see the boys win games to just praying for them to score a single goal. The Wings are limping toward the New Year, and we're looking at the promise of returning players in January as the light at the end of the tunnel of this less-than-stellar year in Hockeytown.